and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
