my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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