let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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