She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
