I'm going to jail i love you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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