batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
