i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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