Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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