so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize