You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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