Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize