the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
