im about as happy as oj after his trial
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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