I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize