Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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