why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
