Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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