I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
