dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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