you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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