Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
