Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
