I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
sex in a hospital.. check
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize