I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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