he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
