I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
