They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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