how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
