Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
