I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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