I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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