Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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