just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
high people should be assigned attendants
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
