You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
