i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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