There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize