Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
