Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
