I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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