When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
