clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
