covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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