you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
