If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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