Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
