Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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