You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize