I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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