I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
