You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis