Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit

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  (403): Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit http://tfl.nu/h77n
  Replies (9) Good night (636) Bad night (2153) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4362) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...

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  (515): So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated... http://tfl.nu/hpsb
  Replies (15) Good night (1107) Bad night (4587) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

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  (617): i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/yxee
  Replies (14) Good night (3257) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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  (440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva
  Replies (14) Good night (8398) Bad night (893)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had a frozen water bed.

  (253): View more from Washington

  best. idea. ever.

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  (734): I wish I had a frozen water bed. (253): best. idea. ever. http://tfl.nu/r1w7
  Replies (58) Good night (5659) Bad night (1926)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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  (540): Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there http://tfl.nu/4j17
  Replies (7) Good night (3481) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.

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  (513): I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life. http://tfl.nu/fi4n
  Replies (6) Good night (4265) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3025) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs

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  (949): ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs http://tfl.nu/niav
  Replies (6) Good night (1794) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.

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  (585): if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes. http://tfl.nu/m1eq
  Replies (8) Good night (2064) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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  (402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx
  Replies (18) Good night (2674) Bad night (546)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.

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  (402): I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/dyhi
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

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  (440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing

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  (214): when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing http://tfl.nu/yb6j
  Replies (6) Good night (431) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

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