..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found a bag of teeth...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.