Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
