we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
