if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
