Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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