oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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