Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize