I'm eating all of the evidence.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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